Blackout

“At some point, I’m gonna hafta stop keeping everything quiet.”

JJ realizes that he will be stuck on the subway with Tremaine, his crush, until the power comes back on. Quietly watching Tremaine, who is unaware of his presence, makes JJ wish he could be more open and forthright about his feelings for Tremaine and his queer identity.

“There’s a part of me that wishes I could be as…settled as Tremaine seems to be.”

Knowing that Tremaine seems to be comfortable in his skin as a queer Black teen makes JJ wish he could be the same. Unlike Tremaine, JJ hides his sexual orientation and continues to play basketball despite losing his passion for it because it is what everyone expects of him. It is the fear of being discovered to be something other than what everyone knows that keeps JJ from being his true self.

“But there was this sense of…not-aloneness.”

At the queer masquerade ball, JJ feels a sense of community and camaraderie with his fellow attendees. Knowing that all the men around him also identify as queer makes JJ realize that he is not alone.