In My Dreams I Hold A Knife

Content Warning: The source material includes depictions of physical and sexual violence.

Seemingly perfect Jessica Miller arrives home from a cycling workout to an invitation in the mail to her 10-year college reunion from her alma mater, the prestigious Duquette University. She yearns to be the best at everything, and now she is the youngest woman ever to make partner at Coldwell & Company, has her hair and teeth the right shades of blonde and white, and is toned and tanned. She feels she has reached a level of success that will have her college friends reeling with envy. Her friend Heather, however, will not be there because she was murdered when they were in college.

Staring into the mirror and brushing her hair, she fantasizes about her triumphant return to Duquette. However, she also fears her classmates will see past her attempts at perfection to the “mediocre Jessica” inside her. At the end of the chapter, Jessica admits that there were “insidious” whispers among her friends implying she may have been involved with Heather’s murder.

Jessica meets her college friend Jack at his favorite dive bar. She’s there to get his blessing before returning to Duquette. He cannot attend because he was accused of Heather’s murder, and a cloud of suspicion still hangs over him, though the police never had enough evidence to convict him.