The Many Lives of Mama Love: A Memoir of Lying, Stealing, Writing, and Healing

Hardin no longer loves DJ and is increasingly frustrated by his angry outbursts in court. She recounts their meeting in recovery and their shared vision for a healthy life without drugs. However, DJ relapsed into using heroin, leaving Hardin to care for her children and his while running their jointly owned pet cemetery business. His betrayal in returning to drug use tore apart their young marriage. Despite her outrage and feelings of superiority, Hardin admits that she was also taking pills at the time and would have failed a recovery drug test. She comforted herself by acknowledging that she didn’t drink alcohol, like the other PTA moms. When, in recovery again, DJ demanded a urine test from Hardin, she stole the dog’s urine and the test came out clean, making her feel virtuous.

In the present, Hardin and DJ share a police van back to jail, and DJ slips her a note containing meth. He’s using in jail even though she got clean in the six weeks she’s been inside. She recalls the first time she tried heroin, stolen from DJ’s gym bag, and its devastating effect on her life: “Those little baggies made me lose everyone I loved” (96). In G Block, she trades the drugs for supplies to write to her sons and then helps Daddy, the G Block boss, which earns her a private room.