The School for Good Mothers

The School for Good Mothers explores the unrealistic expectations imposed on mothers, as well as the impossibility of being a “good” mother when judged by cultural standards. Almost everyone around Frida criticizes her mothering. Gust doesn’t want her to have an epidural, Susanna wants her to use cloth diapers and buy organic foods, and her parents want her to bring Harriet to visit them more. Most of the people judging Frida’s mothering are not mothers themselves and don’t understand Frida’s specific position as a Chinese single mother who has a job, depression, and heartbreak over her husband leaving her for a woman whom she now has to interact with regularly. When neighbors call the police on Harriet’s behalf, Frida is labeled a “bad” mother and sent to a “school” where American society’s expectations about motherhood are reinforced.

Many of the school’s and government’s expectations, decidedly American, are based on myths and enforced by people who are not parents. The instructors and counselors say, “A good mother can do anything” (173), even lift cars or fend off bears, for their children. They claim mothers’ needs should be met by caring for their children, so they should never experience “loneliness” (the desire for romance) or any other negative emotions, which would affect their children.