The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels

Cecilia Bassingthwaite sits with her great-aunt Miss Darlington at home, reading aloud from a book. Her aunt has forbidden her to go outside in the rain, convinced Cecilia would take ill and die. A strange gentleman knocks on the door. Miss Darlington ignores it, but as the knocking continues, Cecilia goes to answer. A blond man with no hat offers her a brochure about the endangered North Atlantic auk. Cecilia declines and shuts the door in his face. The gentleman, Ned Lightbourne, stands on the porch, astounded by Cecilia’s beauty. 

Cecilia tells Miss Darlington that the man, Ned, was likely a pirate, as she saw an anchor tattoo on his wrist when he extended the brochure to her. However, he gave no secret handshake, indicating he is not part of any piracy societies, and therefore must be a rogue. Miss Darlington wonders what he was after, naming a few of the treasures they have in their house that could attract rogue pirates. Cecilia wonders what she should have done with him, asking her aunt if shooting or stabbing would be appropriate, but Miss Darlington chides her for the damage blood or bullets could do to their furniture and fine carpets.