Things We Left Behind

“In a fair and just world, Ansel Rollins would have lived out his full sentence, and the day of his release, he would have suffered a painful and traumatic death. Instead, he’d managed to escape his punishment due to a stroke that had quietly ended his life in his sleep. The unfairness of it had the rage rattling that locked box inside me.”

From the beginning of the novel, Lucian’s perspective illustrates his beliefs surrounding justice. Lucian does not believe that justice exists, and Ansel’s swift, painless death is proof of that to his son. His long past of witnessing injustices go unpunished has created an intense rage within Lucian that motivates his career ambitions.

“That was what we did. We left things alone. The only acknowledgment of our shared past was the bitter aftertaste that colored every interaction. Neither one of us was going to forgive or forget. We would just continue pretending it didn’t still eat away at us.”

This passage ironically opposes the connotations implied by the novel’s title. While Sloane and Lucian are intent on moving on with their lives and leaving each other in the past, each remains fixated on the other, refusing to leave their respective childhood memories in the past. This unprocessed bitterness serves as the primary obstacle to their slowly burgeoning romance.

“I know you well enough to understand you take every precaution to protect those you care about. My concern is for you. Do you give yourself the same care?”

Emry is Lucian’s former therapist and his appearances throughout the novel often serve to articulate and examine the inner struggles that Lucian avoids facing. In this passage, Emry points out Lucian’s lack of regard for himself and his own protection. Lucian has always been the protector of those he cares about, from his mother and his employees to the people that his politicians serve. However, he often fails to protect himself because he does not feel worthy of love or protection.